Dear Editor:  

          I read your recent account of the multiple assaults of your "heroes" against various groups of innocent badders traveling along the Fiver.  You correctly note in each case that the badders put up a "good fight."  But you fail to mention that in each case the badders were ruthlessly attacked, without warning, by the "heroes" of your tale.  In the future, to avoid having the badders under my command taken advantage of in such fashion, I have instructed my badders to attack on sight any "heroes" they may run across.  You have been duly warned.

Sincerely,

The Biggest, Baddest Badder of Blue

 

Dear Editor:

            I must protest your reference to me in your tales as a "scavenging spider, Attercop."  Not only is your repeated use of the pejorative term "Attercop" most unprofessional (even the anti-spider polemic The Hobbit correctly recognized that this is a most offensive way to refer to a spider), but your description of me as "scavenging" is an outright and outrageous -- lie.  Spiders don't "scavenge."  We are much too sophisticated to stoop to such low forms of food-gathering.  I realize that perhaps you were simply repeating what the "heroes" told you, but as an editor of a worldwide publication, you should be less credulous.  Surely any sensible person can see that this lie was relayed to you by the "heroes" to cover up the fact that it was they who were scavenging in my home.  At least your account of how your "heroes" invaded the homes of several of my fellow spiders, then awaited them "in ambush" and "gunned" one down, rings true.

 

Disgusted,  

Spyrodiffida the Spider

 

Dear Editor:

          Your extolling of the exploits of the criminals who recently blew up our City Hall and our jail, stole thousands of gold pieces from our treasury, and nearly killed me in the process is most shameful.  Had these criminals been innocent, as you suggest, they would not have attempted to escape from the jail, and they certainly would not have stolen more gold than was originally theirs, as even your account admits that they did.  What you blithely describe as "dispatch[ing] the guard" is, in civilized places, called "cold-blooded murder."  While at first it appeared they might be innocent, your account makes it clear that the "heroes" are fully deserving of the full penalty of the law.  And that is what they will receive should they ever return to my jurisdiction.

Seth Talbot

Redman Town Elder

 

 

Dear Editor:

     Your recount of the encounter between the "heroes"  and we androids of the tunnel south of Settle is inaccurate.  You incorrectly omit the fact that we specifically warned the group to turn back and offered them the chance to leave the tunnel peacefully.  Yet, even so, they chose to attack us instead.  Your account then appears deliberately to make fun of androids by describing the mishaps of TD4.  Your attempt to hide your bias by focusing on a member of the group fools no one.  In truth, had it not been for TD4's  -- an android's -- clever actions, we would have easily defeated your "heroes."

 

Transmission ended,

XJ7

 

 

Dear Editor:

            I read with interest your recent saga of the "heroes" from Ent.  As a mutant, I was pleased to read of their victory over the evil Knights of Genetic Purity.  However, I was most dismayed by the group's knee-jerk, wanton opposition to the Thought Masters and their mutant followers.  Did anyone from the group or for that matter, from the entire town of Ent -- ever bother to talk to the Thought Masters to find out what they were trying to achieve?  No.  The people of Ent simply raised an army and attacked, without even considering the possibility that the Thought Masters and their mutant followers might have been on their way to Try City to defend it against the imminent attack of the Knights of Genetic Purity.  Yes, that is exactly what we were doing!  But we never got there because of your "heroes," and instead the town of Try City was wiped out in a most heinous manner.  Thus, while we applaud your heroes' thwarting of the plans of the Knights of Genetic Purity, we cannot praise your group's interference indeed, fierce opposition to our attempt to fight the common foe.  In the future, we suggest greater coordination would benefit all mutants.

Regards and regrets,

A mutant soldier recuperating in Rose City

 

 

Dear Editor:

            Let us review for a moment the behaviour of your "heroes" toward the Knights of Genetic Purity:

First, in our very first encounter, on the road outside Ent, two of your "heroes" hid from us and the other four lied to us.  Had they any honor, your "heroes" would have confronted us directly, without deception or deceit.

Second, your "heroes" attacked a small group that we left behind to guard the USDOE radioactive facility.  As your own account makes clear, your group not only attacked the guards unprovoked, but then proceeded to torture them in horrific and inhumane ways, even after it was clear they had no further information to give.

Third, your heroes attacked, once again unprovoked, our bridge guard.  Although your account makes it sound like a brave assault was made, in truth, the principal combatant the grotesquely-mutated sasquatch called "Punisher" was virtually invisible, having chosen to use translux.  Your account conveniently leaves this key fact out.  Worse, your account claims that the bridge guard leader set off a grenade "to kill himself," when in fact he nobly sacrificed his life in an effort to destroy the invisible monster (which he believed to be nearby), and thereby protect his fellow knights in Wall.

Finally, one has only to read your rendition of the assault on Wall to realize that your "heroes" used translux and trickery to repeatedly attack and kill unsuspecting and defenseless knights.  It is precisely this sort of "heroism" that we, the Knights of Genetic Purity, seek to stamp out by ridding this world of mutants and their decadent ways.  We encourage all those pure strain humans who are appalled by the behavior of the "heroes" of your adventure to contact us about how such behavior in the future may be stopped and appropriately redressed.

Marissa Darkrider

Sergeant, Knights of Genetic Purity  

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